Marriage and Money

Posted on April 19 2010

I had it placed on my heart to write something in regards to marriage and money. In no way am I an expert in either field, but I believe there is something to be said. Looking at current statistics, about half of all marriages end in divorce. This number is very alarming to me. What also is alarming is that most of these divorces are the result of money issues. Couples get worked up and angry over their current financial situation and think they can do better financially on their own. However, I sometimes don’t believe that couples really look at their financial situation from all angles. I believe if couples would choose to fight the financial battle together, it wouldn’t be as big of a battle. For example, if a couple decides to separate, the financial strength which they may not even be aware of is gone. Once they separate, think of all the things they have to buy for themselves with no one to help split the cost (i.e. food, furniture, toiletries, utility bills, rent/mortgage, a child’s school expenses, etc.). These expenses are only the tip of the iceberg. Now, I realize there are other issues that will need to be considered, but I believe too many couples today truly believe the only answer to their financial hardship is to end their marriage. I say take the less traveled route. Stay and fight both for the marriage and against the financial struggle. Start today by setting the financial stage of your marriage. Decide together what each other’s roles are when it comes to handling the finances. One may be better at doing the math than the other but input from both individuals is needed. Work together on your budget. Here is where compromise is going to be needed. One may be a saver and the other may be a spender. The saver needs to be okay with allowing the spender to spend some money, and the spender needs to be okay with setting a limit, but both need to agree on the budget. After couples have worked on setting monthly budgets (which may take a few months to get right), move on towards setting financial goals together. Setting goals will help each individual know the direction they are going with their finances so there will be no surprises later.

As it is said in Ecclesiastes 3:9-12 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

This doesn’t sound romantic at all, but there is a time when couples need to look into the business part of their marriage, their partnership. Remember that no one is always right, not in marriage, or in business. The partnership needs to be able to communicate and compromise. If it gets to a point where there is no communication or compromise, just like a business may need to bring in a mediator, couples should invest in counseling. Overall, too many marriages are ending in divorce due to money problems. These couples believe that divorce is the easy way out. The reality of it is that married couples are financially stronger together than apart. There is also additional foundational strength when the couple leans on God for direction and guidance.